Childhood Dreams Fullfilled

When I was a kid (and truth be known even now), I wanted to grow up and be a writer.  I wanted to write the "Great American Novel."  The older I get, the more realistic I become thinking that I just don't have the talent or the guts to act on that dream.  I have written one novel on my own that only one other person has read and will ever read.  I have rewritten an entire novel because I just thought the story would have been so much better if the protagonist wasn't a moron.  On a regular basis, I rewrite bits and pieces of novels that I've read because I really didn't like the way they happened in the actual stories.

But I've never had anything published...that is until this week.

I had parent-teacher conferences last week.  It's odd being on the other side of the desk.  My children are liked by their teachers.  They are generally well-behaved in school, are making progress with the curricula and only one of them (and not the one you would expect) shows any signs of anxiety.  Anna's conference included some of the specialists who see her over the course of the week.  They showed me all these books that her lead teacher made for Anna.  The books outlined her school day.  There was even one that was about how she shouldn't cry when people coughed or sneezed.  They told me how she loved to read the books so much that not only does she force the teachers to read them too her repeatedly, but also how during "choice activity" time, she goes and "reads" the books over and over again.

So I figured I'd give it a try.  I wrote a book called Sunday Brunch at Grandma's.  It was a riveting tale about how we would all go to Grandma's house to eat brunch.  I used clip art to add pictures.  She loved it.  We read it at least four times before we left.  She had it memorized in a blink and she "read" even more.  Then we had to bring it with us.  Anna was fine with the actual outing itself.  When my father-in-law coughed when we were leaving, she made a face as if she was going to cry, but she didn't actually do it.

Based on my success with Sunday Brunch, I wrote another book.  This one was about a surprise trip the kids and I took to Mystic Aquarium with my bff Kristie and her girls.  Same deal.  We read it about three or four times in a row.  During that time, she memorized it, and then proceeded to "read" it herself several times.  We read it together in the morning before we left, and she "read" it in the car several times.  By the time we got to the aquarium, she was yelling, "Where's Brooke and Lexie?  Where's Mama's friend Kristie?  We're going to see fish!"  I wish I could say that there were no meltdowns during the day.  There were, but the good news was that the meltdowns had nothing to do with anxiety and everything to do with not getting her way.  She and Lexie hit it off (not surprising as Kristie and I truly believe they are the same kid).  She's still asking for Brooke and Lexie five days later.

Flushed with my success with the first two, I wrote a book about Anna's morning routine.  This one is a slight upgrade from the others.  This one has a mix of clip art and actual pictures of Anna doing various things.  I wrote it tonight and we have read it about four or five times.  We'll see how that works with the morning routine.  It's pretty tough in the mornings around here sometimes.  Hopefully this will make it better.

I even wrote Jack a book, too.  This one is about how nervous he gets before school when he gets there too early.  And he read it aloud, almost, all by himself.

So I am a four times published author now.  I'm so proud.  Of course, the publisher is my tired old printer.  And of course, my only audience is my children.  But...

And Now the Shoe Is on the Other Foot

Anna is doing well.  The month that she's been in school has improved her in so many ways.  She speaks more.  She sings more.  She's even used the potty a few times, taking the initiative to do so, and not as the result of brute strength.  She seems happier.  She's only had that one meltdown at school that everyone except those of us who really know her think was a stomachache. 

She gets up in the morning, helps me get her dressed and then she lets us put in her eye drops.  She's not quite where she should be in terms of developmental stages, but she's better.  I think that if things keep going the way they're going she'll be ready for kindergarten when it's time for her to go.

My problem now is with Jack.  He's displaying serious anxiety when he goes to school.  He used to jump out of the car and run into the building.  He wanted nothing to do with Judy once he got to school; he'd run in by himself.  Now he won't do it.  He cries.

I spoke to the teacher a couple of weeks ago, when we really started to worry about it.  She said that she didn't see anything at school.  He seemed happy enough.  But then it started to come out that he throws himself on the floor and he cries when an adult corrects him.  Most of the time he's fine, happy even, but...

Judy tried to figure it out and she forced him to tell her what was bothering him.  He told her that there was this kid who was bothering him.  So I got ready to go in there and beat up a 5 year old for bullying my boy, and asked Jack, "So what does ___________________ say to bother you?"  Jack's reply was, "I don't like loud places and sometimes he's loud."  So he wasn't being bullied. 

On top of all of that, his work is coming home incomplete.  He does the actual "academic" parts of his handouts, but the coloring is incomplete.  He tells us that sometimes he has to stay inside at recess because he doesn't finish his work.  The work is done correctly, and the coloring--what's done of it--is perfect.  So I'm starting to wonder if he's got a perfectionist streak in him.

So Judy and I both bribed him.  If he makes it into school without crying, he can play for five minutes on the playground at school.  I told him that if he went 7 school days without crying, I would buy him some tickets to buy games off the Internet for his Explorer.  That didn't work--both the short term and the long term didn't work.

So Friday John and I called the guidance councilor at the school.  She got the same stories from him that we did.  He doesn't like loud places and sometimes the place is loud.  When she pulled him from class, though, he started to cry.  She's going to keep an eye on him, but in the short term, she's going to introduce him to more of the adults in the school in the morning.

I don't know what the deal is with him.  He tends to be a "pleaser."  He wants to do well in school to please me, his dad, and his teacher.  If he doesn't do his best, or if he makes a mistake, then he cries.  If he is reprimanded for any reason--big or small--he cries. 

I don't know if this has something to with the fact that Anna has started school and the drop off there is just odd.  The teacher comes out to the car to get the kids, so someone comes to Judy's car and takes Anna out of her car seat and brings her into school. 

I don't know if something has happened.  Did he get yelled at by the cafeteria ladies during breakfast--if they're anything like the ones at my school that is not out of the realm of possibility?  Is there someone who is bothering him and he just won't tell us?

I don't know what the story is.  I really don't, but I'm so worried about him.

On a happier note, the birthday party was an absolute success.  The Minions cake came out well and the party was fun.  That night, John took Jack to see the Harlem Globetrotters and that was, quite possibly, the best thing that ever happened to Jack.  He loved it.  He didn't quite get that it was a big joke, though.  When he was telling me about it, he said, "Mama, the team we were rooting for was really silly!"  Funny.  He's still talking about it.  Best.  Birthday.  Present.  Ever.

Hopefully we'll be able to top it next year.