The Dog Days of Summer...

I'm not really sure what that means, "The Dog Days of Summer," but I have this feeling that today is going to be a definite dog day.

Today started at 2:22 a.m. when Anna burst into our bedroom and screamed, "I have to pee!"  Not her style.  She hardly ever wakes up in the middle of the night and when she does it's not with a scream.  She had a fever of over 102 and she couldn't go back to sleep.  She tried sleeping curled up in our room, but decided she wanted to go back to her room.  She came back, though, and couldn't get comfy.  I swear she had half the queen sized bed while John and I were smooshed on the other half.  I went and slept in her bed after a while.  Poor bubba.  She's currently asleep on the couch.  The fever's way down, but there was a bit of puke. 

Speaking of dogs and puke...Brian left me a nice pile to clean up, too.  Damn' dog.

Jack is itching to play Uno for points.  I bought a set of Uno cards last week and have been teaching him and his sister how to play.  She likes it, and even though I'm pretty sure she has no clue what is going on, she wins almost every single hand.  Jack and I started to play for points and he likes to do that even though he loses.  I told him that we should get Grammy Bailey to play the next time we see her because she likes to play Uno.  He got a scared look on his face and said, "But she cheats!"  She does.  Apparently her reputation precedes her. 

A bunch of people I work with have set up a Wednesday beach day schedule.  If we can, we'll meet at Nantasket beach on Wednesdays.  Today was meant to be the first as it is the first Wednesday of summer vacation.  Unfortunately, my little girl is a little under the weather.  This will be a good thing--not her being under the weather, but the regular beach dates.  The kids love the beach and they get bored hanging around here sometimes.  It's cheap and they'll be interacting with other kids, too.  And I'll get to interact with other adults.  Maybe I won't be so nutty with a little regular interaction with some adults.

John has cleared out some of the trees (read, "all of the trees") in the backyard so that we can put our pool up.  We have one of those pools that you can put up and take down.  It's about 4' deep and about 16' across.  It never got warm last summer and the kids would play in it for five minutes and then be done--especially if I didn't get in with them.  I wasn't getting in it if the temperature was not up to my picky standards.  So John decided that he would clear out a few of the trees in the backyard so that we could have a nice sunny patch.  Again, here's the difference between John and me.  In my mind, a few trees included the big dead one and maybe a couple of others.  In his mind, it meant the whole backyard's worth of trees.  It was probably a good thing, though, because he found that even the ones that were alive were rotted on the inside.  We have a ton of wood in our backyard if anyone needs some.  He's hoping to have the pool up by Saturday so that we can use it next week.  Hip, hip, horray!  The kids are itching to swim, and the small kiddie pool really is too small for them and the assortment of rocks they like to wash in it.

The Disney trip is rapidly approaching and I was in a little bit of a panic mode.  Anna was such a mess at Quassy that I was afraid that those behaviors would be present during our whole trip to see the giant rat.  I thought about it a lot and realized that I hadn't set Anna up.  I hadn't given her something to anticipate.  I hadn't even told her where we were going and what it was like.  In the past, I have written her little stories about what she would see and do and how she was expected to act.  For this trip, I had just thrown her in and expected her to handle it.  Bad mom.

So I figured that since I have time, I would write her a little book for every day of our trip.  I sat down yesterday while the kids were playing and started to sketch out a step-by-step itinerary of our trip.  I got through Thursday, August 18, 2011, really easily because all we're doing that's new is going to a hotel to spend the night.  The next day got to be a disaster.  The next day is our flight, our arrival, and then quality time in the pool.

In my head, I know what this entails.  We'll take a shuttle to the airport.  There will be bags to check and security to go through.  We'll have to wait for our plane and then we'll be on the plane for a long time.  Once we arrive we have to walk through our terminal and get onto a "people mover" to get to another terminal to then wait in line to get on a bus that will bring us to our hotel.  I've got a perfect picture of how this will work in my head.  I've done it before.   I started listing the steps and the stages and the behaviors, etc., and then I got to the time when we're done in the pool.  We had planned to play it by ear, here.  Depending on how the kids are, we might do one of a few things.  I couldn't figure out how to write the three options down.  I scanned over what I had written so far and was overwhelmed by how LONG it was.  This wasn't going to work.

So I wondered what to do.  I thought about when it was at Quassy that she had a hard time.  The first was waiting her turn to do something she really wanted to do--go on a ride.  Lines weren't something she was interested in at all.  The second was wanting to do something she liked repeatedly.  She didn't really comprehend that she needed to see and do other things or that she needed to get back in line to wait to do it again.  Next was leaving.  She didn't want to leave and so she pitched the biggest, most embarrassing temper tantrum when we told her that it was time to go.

What I'm going to do with that information is a little up in the air.  I can make something that addresses the behaviors.  But what?  I might make some mini-books and then see if I can get them lamenated.  Does Staples do that?  I'll have to sort that out.

Oh well.  I won't be going anywhere today, so I guess I'll have time to think it through.  :)

Anna's new haircut

finger painting in the driveway!

         

I'm Now the Mother of a First Grader

This was actually written yesterday (6/23/11), but I came home from work with a migraine and it didn't get posted until this morning.  So the yesterday mentioned in the blog is really two days ago now.

Jack graduated from kindergarten yesterday.  It was an interesting experience. 

The immediate reaction to this situation was one of sadness.  My baby is going into first grade!  He’s really not a baby any more, and once he’s done with kindergarten, he really qualifies as a big boy.  There’s growth and a sense of moving on.  There’s a sense of aging and of leaving good things behind.  The time when he starts to hate me because I’m stupid and old is rapidly approaching.

The program seemed a little un-practiced; however, I know they practiced their marching and singing.  It is really difficult to herd 5 and 6 year olds.  It is, I imagine, a lot like trying to herd cats.  The kids said the “Pledge of Allegiance” and followed it with the “Baker School Pledge.”  They sang “This Land Is Your Land” which I thought was interesting given the population of the crowd.  There were a couple of other songs and a poem (which wasn’t practiced together at all).  Then the kids got their certificates.

This is where things went a little off.  The principal, who started the ceremony off, never really caught the attention of the parents and other assorted relatives.  I couldn’t tell you what she said because I couldn’t really hear it over the constant conversation of the people in the gym.  She was also distracted by something that was going on somewhere else in the building.  I did pick out that she wants us to read to our children every day. 

In the middle of one of the songs, the principal called up a fifth grade teacher (who is the father of one of the girls in Jack’s class) to take over officiating and then she ran out of the gym.  Ran.  Really.  Something was up.  Then they started giving out the certificates.  The teachers announced the kids’ names as they handed out the certificates, but they didn’t use the microphone.  After the two substantially separate classes had been called up, the principal returned.  We were so far away (and the acoustics in a gym leave a lot to be desired) and distracted by the comings and goings of the principal so no one could hear what was being said.

At one point during the announcing, one mom in the row ahead of us got up and announced to the world that she was going to pee in her pants and wanted to know where the bathroom was.  John and I both immediately pointed in the direction of the bathrooms.  We wanted to be helpful and to avoid a potty emergency.

For the first few classes, parents were respectful to the fact that everyone wanted to see, so they remained seated.  Then when the second-to-last class was being announced, a herd of parents got up—lead by one woman—and ran to take pictures.  Of course, Jack’s class was the last class to be called up.

When Jack’s class started, there was a bigger herd--part of which came from the end of our row.  People were pushing past us to get out onto the gym floor to see their nephew/son/whatever get his certificate.  Unfortunately, I missed seeing Jack get his certificate because this whole family from the end of our row was pushing past us.  And just at that momentous moment in my son’s life, some girl stepped on my toe.

I was upset.  I was already weepy because while I was sad that Jack was moving on, I was also thinking about how heart wrenching it would be for me if Anna were to be in a substantially separate classroom when she is in kindergarten.  So when I spoke, it was way more angry, whiney and loud than I intended.  I turned to John and said, “I didn’t get to see Jack get his certificate because she was stomping on my toes!”

The “she” in question could take me.  No ifs, ands, or buts.  She’s at least 20 years younger than I am, and about 200 times tougher than I will ever be.  She didn’t look back, but the man she was with did.  He apologized profusely and went down to take pictures with his nephew/son whatever.  I immediately felt guilty because I really didn’t mean to be so loud and whiney.  I was disappointed.

When the couple finally came back, the man was yelling at the woman.  He pointed at me and said, “This is the woman you stepped on!”  She didn’t even look at me but yelled, “I already said ‘sorry’!”  If she did, by the way, I didn’t hear her.  They continued to argue.  He had that look on his face that John gets when he thinks I’m being a bit much.

The principal kept trying nicely to get the parents to sit down.  She asked at least four separate times for parents to find their way to their seats so the kindergarteners could be dismissed.  At first it was kind of wishy-washy.  Then it became more and more urgent.

We were invited back to Jack’s classroom.  As we were leaving the gym, the parent who had taken over the ceremony saw John (Jack had attended a party at his house.  John had dropped Jack off covered in dirt and grime.  It was Saturday so either he was working on racecars or he was cutting down trees.) and said, “You clean up really good.”  I thought that was the best line of the whole promotion. 

There were snacks and lots of parents and kids in the classroom.  We left before the end of the school day and got Anna.

Jack was thrilled when we came home because his dad got him a Frisbee and a new basketball.  We played Frisbee for a long while.  Then John’s parents took us out to eat at one of Jack’s favorite restaurants:  IHOP.

It was a good day.  Jack is so proud of himself, he can’t stand it.  He was ready for his summer vacation!

At the "after-party"

 

No Name Blog

This blog had a much different name when I was playing around with it in my head.  Now I don't know what to call it because I've become more serious than when I had originally thought about it.

This weekend was super busy.  The kids and I needed to "Get Out of Dodge," and so very early on Saturday morning, I bundled the kids up and threw them in the car.  We were at my sisters' house by 11:45.  Valerie and I threw the kids back in the car and headed out to Lake Quassapaug Amusement/Water Park.  It was a fun-filled, tantrum-filled day.  Anna has been so good lately adapting to any and all situations--and people--that I just didn't think to "prep" her for the experience.  If she really liked something, she would literally kick and scream if she couldn't get right back on.

Anna, Jack and Mom

My two hams before the water park

I had to drag her from the place when it was time to leave.  She was screaming, "I wanna go to the water park!" as I was carrying her, dragging her, pushing her through the park and then the parking lot.  Once she got in the car, she was alright.  Stopped crabbing and was fine.

We spent some time after with my sisters, Karen and Valerie, and a little bit of time with Karen's husband Charlie and daughter Liz. Charlie sent us away with a cooler filled with farm-fresh bacon.  No nitrates.  No chemicals, just good, yummy bacon.  You're jealous.  I know.

We spent the night at my parents' house, where a buoyant Anna serenaded us with "50 Stars Are on the Flag" and "You're a Grand Old Flag."  That was amazing, yet repetitive.

On Sunday we invited ourselves to a family gathering at a really good friend's house.  The friend, John, had just proposed to his fiance, Jenn, the night before--and she said, "Yes"!  It was a multi-purpose party:  Father's Day, engagement, remembering John's dad who had passed away 8 years ago yesterday.  It was kind of a fitting party, I think.  His dad (one of the men my son was named for) would have thought it a fitting way to mark all three events.

John has two children.  Jenn has two children.  I have two children.  And they all played well together.  It was very cute.  John and Jenn's combined four welcomed my two admirably.  No one was left out.  No one was picked on.  They were amazing.  Anna wouldn't get out of the pool, so the others (who were all at least two years older) took turns playing in the pool with her so that she wasn't alone.  Jack fell, and the kids ran to get him something to clean the minuscule cut with and for a bandage.  It was nice.

Also at the party was a woman I consider to be my second mother.  I tried to explain the relationship to Jack and to Jenn's mom, but it all sounded so trite.  I couldn't quite sum up what she means to me verbally, so I made my kids call her Grandma Lillian and give her hugs.  Jack obliged.  Anna was done and she just waved.  Oh well.

I seriously hope that John and Jenn can manage the time and resources to bring the kids up to Boston for a weekend.  It was a fun get-together that I would like to repeat.

We didn't get home until after 7 last night.  While both kids whined about going to bed by 8, they both passed out.  Anna was awake when her dad opened the door to her room this morning at 7, but Jack needed a little coaxing.

Today was Anna's last day of pre-school for the year.  For those of you who have been reading along might guess, this was an emotional day for me.  First and foremost, they marched all the kids in the school out with their teachers.  Then they sat or stood facing the crowd of parents and sang about 5 songs.  It was adorable and I was fighting back the tears because there was Anna--front and center--sitting there (!) and singing along.  That would not have happened this time six months ago (aside from the fact that this time six months ago the ground was covered in snow...).  While they were singing a woman cut in front of me wearing an intriguing outfit--a picture of which I shall post at the end.

Then we followed the kids into the classroom for more songs and snacks.  The kids were amazing, especially Anna.  She was so happy to see me which always makes me smile.  She sang and did as she was told.  She hugged her teachers.  She sat with her friends.  It made me want to cry so badly because she's come so far in such a short time.

Then the teacher sent home a bag of goodies.  I sobbed sorting through it.  It contained pictures of Anna doing things and participating in activities.  There were books, some trade books but also an alphabet book Anna had made and a "yearbook" kind of thing.  Her report card (which was very good.  She received all S's for "satisfactory."  There's nothing higher.  There was an S- for fine motor skills, but that's why she's there.  Her progress report was there, too.  She's met all the goals with two minor exceptions.  One is that when she takes out the toys that are permitted during any given play period, she tends to spread out.  The other is that she still needs help holding her pencil.  That one is not a surprise because I watch her grip avidly.

The final piece of the whole bag was an "autograph" page.  All the kids wrote their names on the same piece of paper.  Most of the names are vaguely recognizable, some no more than scribbles.  Anna's is as clear as day in big bold letters.  She even used a capital A and lower case n-n-a.  I'm glad I was home because I lost it.  I sobbed.  She wouldn't even hold a writing utensil for me this time six months ago.

Anna's on the left looking left.

Unfortunately for Anna and the youth of Brockton, Anna's teacher, Miss Mary is retiring this year.  She let me know because she's concerned about what's going to happen with Anna next year.  The school system will not be replacing Miss Mary.  Instead they are going to scatter her class among the rest of the school's teachers.  Anna will be placed in one class, and then will be moved to another class.  I'm just so thrilled with how well Anna's doing that I don't really mind.  Miss Mary minds.  Miss Mary is trying hard to get Anna into a full day, five day a week program.  She thinks it would be better and I agree.  I don't know if I should call and push for it or what.  I hadn't even known it was an option. 

I'll bring this to a close ans it's been kind of an emotional roller coaster for me.  But I thought I'd end with that picture I promised.

9:30 in the morning @ a pre-school closing ceremony.  No kidding.

A Break Through

For Anna, people outside of her immediate family fall into three different categories:

1) People she loves.  This includes, but is not limited to, my mother and sisters, the Bailey cousins and one of John's sisters.  These people will be spoken to and hugged.

2) People she tolerates.  This includes my mother- and father-in-law, my father.  This category also includes some of John's relatives depending on her mood.  She generally will not go to them, but she won't run screaming from the room either.

3) People she cannot stand.  This includes various people including random strangers and John's brother.  She will run screaming when she sees these people.

A couple of times, I've asked my in-laws to come over to watch the kids while John and I go and run some quick errand.  Jack will lap up the attention he gets from his grandparents.  Anna runs upstairs to her room and hides there until we come home.  When we go to my in-laws' house, she'll play, but she won't talk to them.  She never gives them hugs when she leaves.  If they ask her a direct question she will either grunt at them or she will ignore them.
 
I'm sure this hurts them, but they've been pretty good about it.  They recognize that there's something going on in the kid's head that is not quite the same as in other kids' heads.  They respect that and give her the space she needs.  And I respect them for it.

A couple of weeks ago, I brought the kids home to Connecticut.  She was, of course, in love with my mother and sisters.  But this time, she was all over my dad.  When we walked into the house, she shouted, "Where's Grampa Bailey?"  She had hugs and kisses for him the whole time we were there.  I was pretty thrilled and so was my dad.

Last weekend, we went to John's sister's house for an impromptu cook-out.  She has a nice pool and my kids are fish.  Anna spoke to no one except for Jack and me the whole two hours or so she was in the pool.  When she was done, she warmed up and then decided it was time to go.  She got up and gave hugs to everyone.  John's sister, of course.  But then she trotted right over to her grandma and then to her grandpa.  She then gave hugs to other people she had never seen before the day.

John and I were thrilled by it.  It was amazing!  What a big step!  We don't really want her to be going around giving hugs to people she doesn't know, but the hug for her grandpa was pretty special.  Even he commented on it.

Pretty cool.