I'm Now the Mother of a First Grader

This was actually written yesterday (6/23/11), but I came home from work with a migraine and it didn't get posted until this morning.  So the yesterday mentioned in the blog is really two days ago now.

Jack graduated from kindergarten yesterday.  It was an interesting experience. 

The immediate reaction to this situation was one of sadness.  My baby is going into first grade!  He’s really not a baby any more, and once he’s done with kindergarten, he really qualifies as a big boy.  There’s growth and a sense of moving on.  There’s a sense of aging and of leaving good things behind.  The time when he starts to hate me because I’m stupid and old is rapidly approaching.

The program seemed a little un-practiced; however, I know they practiced their marching and singing.  It is really difficult to herd 5 and 6 year olds.  It is, I imagine, a lot like trying to herd cats.  The kids said the “Pledge of Allegiance” and followed it with the “Baker School Pledge.”  They sang “This Land Is Your Land” which I thought was interesting given the population of the crowd.  There were a couple of other songs and a poem (which wasn’t practiced together at all).  Then the kids got their certificates.

This is where things went a little off.  The principal, who started the ceremony off, never really caught the attention of the parents and other assorted relatives.  I couldn’t tell you what she said because I couldn’t really hear it over the constant conversation of the people in the gym.  She was also distracted by something that was going on somewhere else in the building.  I did pick out that she wants us to read to our children every day. 

In the middle of one of the songs, the principal called up a fifth grade teacher (who is the father of one of the girls in Jack’s class) to take over officiating and then she ran out of the gym.  Ran.  Really.  Something was up.  Then they started giving out the certificates.  The teachers announced the kids’ names as they handed out the certificates, but they didn’t use the microphone.  After the two substantially separate classes had been called up, the principal returned.  We were so far away (and the acoustics in a gym leave a lot to be desired) and distracted by the comings and goings of the principal so no one could hear what was being said.

At one point during the announcing, one mom in the row ahead of us got up and announced to the world that she was going to pee in her pants and wanted to know where the bathroom was.  John and I both immediately pointed in the direction of the bathrooms.  We wanted to be helpful and to avoid a potty emergency.

For the first few classes, parents were respectful to the fact that everyone wanted to see, so they remained seated.  Then when the second-to-last class was being announced, a herd of parents got up—lead by one woman—and ran to take pictures.  Of course, Jack’s class was the last class to be called up.

When Jack’s class started, there was a bigger herd--part of which came from the end of our row.  People were pushing past us to get out onto the gym floor to see their nephew/son/whatever get his certificate.  Unfortunately, I missed seeing Jack get his certificate because this whole family from the end of our row was pushing past us.  And just at that momentous moment in my son’s life, some girl stepped on my toe.

I was upset.  I was already weepy because while I was sad that Jack was moving on, I was also thinking about how heart wrenching it would be for me if Anna were to be in a substantially separate classroom when she is in kindergarten.  So when I spoke, it was way more angry, whiney and loud than I intended.  I turned to John and said, “I didn’t get to see Jack get his certificate because she was stomping on my toes!”

The “she” in question could take me.  No ifs, ands, or buts.  She’s at least 20 years younger than I am, and about 200 times tougher than I will ever be.  She didn’t look back, but the man she was with did.  He apologized profusely and went down to take pictures with his nephew/son whatever.  I immediately felt guilty because I really didn’t mean to be so loud and whiney.  I was disappointed.

When the couple finally came back, the man was yelling at the woman.  He pointed at me and said, “This is the woman you stepped on!”  She didn’t even look at me but yelled, “I already said ‘sorry’!”  If she did, by the way, I didn’t hear her.  They continued to argue.  He had that look on his face that John gets when he thinks I’m being a bit much.

The principal kept trying nicely to get the parents to sit down.  She asked at least four separate times for parents to find their way to their seats so the kindergarteners could be dismissed.  At first it was kind of wishy-washy.  Then it became more and more urgent.

We were invited back to Jack’s classroom.  As we were leaving the gym, the parent who had taken over the ceremony saw John (Jack had attended a party at his house.  John had dropped Jack off covered in dirt and grime.  It was Saturday so either he was working on racecars or he was cutting down trees.) and said, “You clean up really good.”  I thought that was the best line of the whole promotion. 

There were snacks and lots of parents and kids in the classroom.  We left before the end of the school day and got Anna.

Jack was thrilled when we came home because his dad got him a Frisbee and a new basketball.  We played Frisbee for a long while.  Then John’s parents took us out to eat at one of Jack’s favorite restaurants:  IHOP.

It was a good day.  Jack is so proud of himself, he can’t stand it.  He was ready for his summer vacation!

At the "after-party"