Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Worst Phone Call of my Life

We live in what educational professionals who classify communities call an "urban setting."  John and I refer to it as the 'hood.  When we first moved here, it didn't really matter to us.  We bought the house, honestly, for the garage.  We had planned on staying here for the short term and then moving on.  Well...we haven't moved on.  We aren't in a position to move on, and we have to take what we can get in terms of a lot of things, including schools.

I do think that Jack is being held back in school.  I think he's pretty stinkin' bright and that the school system is in no way prepared to provide what he needs because there are too many students who fall on the other end of the spectrum.  On the flipside, Anna is receiving some pretty incredible services.  If we lived in a smaller community or one that was a little more affluent, she wouldn't get all the things she gets.  There has been such an improvement in her that we'd be foolish to leave just now.  We can find ways to suppliment Jack's learning.  I mean, I am a teacher in an academically accelerated program afterall.

And, while he certainly isn't being challenged in the first grade, he's happy.  He's got an amazing teacher whom I cannot say enough about.  He had a great teacher last year.  There are adults in the building who care about him and, until today, he felt safe going there and I felt safe sending him there. 

Today, right at the start of ninth period I got a phone call.  It was from Jack's school.  I took the call because it was my kid's school.  I had to answer.  I expected it to be the nurse to tell me that Jack had fallen on the play ground or that maybe he was sick.  Instead, it was the principal who told me that something had happened to Jack today.

What she told me made my heart stop.  She said that Jack had been in the bathroom when a kid jumped on him and "put his [the other kid's] hands around Jack's neck."

Now, the woman's delivery was off.  She spoke slowly and deliberately.  My mind wasn't working slowly and deliberately.  So that I was in panic mode when she said "jumped on him." and I had LOTS of time betwen "hands around" and "Jack's neck" to jump to all sorts of conclusions.

The principal assured me that he was fine and that she had checked on him multiple times, that he had spoken with the school adjustment councilor, that he seemed fine. 

I started crying and left my classroom, asking my friend Caitlin to keep an eye and ear out.  I went and called John.  He was as upset as I was.  In my mind, some little brat had "jumped" my son in the bathroom.  John was ready to call the police. 

My principal found someone to cover (Thanks Kerry, and Colleen and Mark), and Caitlin handled both her class and mine until there was an adult (Thanks Cait) there.  John and I met in the parking lot of my school and we drove to school.  I had called the principal and told her that we would be coming in and wanted to speak with her and the school adjustment councilor.  Of course, everyone we were driving behind was driving slower than...well...than we wanted to go.

We met with the principal, the assistant principal, and the school adjustment councilor who worked with Jack last year when he was having trouble going to school.  The adults who handled the situation were confident that this wasn't an attack.  This kid is apparently exuberant and "handsy."  He would have done what he had done to anyone.  Jack was just in the bathroom at the wrong time.  What really happened was that Jack was just finishing washing his hands and this kid came out of a bathroom stall.  The kid saw Jack and then made some kind of movement with his hands kind of like he was aiming a bow and arrow and then jumped on Jack putting his hands on the back of Jack's neck giving him a push.

Jack ran from the bathroom and found the first adult, the assistant principal.  The assistant principal then looked for the kid, but based on what Jack had said, he and the people who were helping him had a pretty good description of who it was.  They found him.  They took "disciplinary action."  They talked to Jack about it and sent him to the nurse.  There were no marks on him.  Apparently, the mother of the other boy apologized to me through the principal saying that she wouldn't like it if someone had put their hands on her son.

I'm relatively satisfied with the way things went down.  I wasn't called immediately after it happened, but I was called after the "disciplinary action" was taken.  My son wasn't really hurt so I can live with that.  The principal did the right thing by calling me after the kid had left the building and after she had dealt with the mother. 

Jack's upset.  He's already talked about how he doesn't want to go to school tomorrow, but I've told him that since he doesn't have a fever he's got to go.  I'm a mean mama.  I know.  I've asked them to keep an eye on him because he's so anxious.  He's been so good about going to school every day that I would hate for him to start that crying thing again. 

We'll see how that goes.  Now I'm exhausted.  John's exhausted.  Emotionally drained.


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