Friday, February 11, 2011

Back to a More Rational State of Being...maybe

First and foremost I wanted to take the time to shamelessly support a friend's blog.  I don't get as much traffic on my blog as he gets on his, but check it out.  Wait.  Don't check it out if you are easily offended and cannot see the other side to any given argument.  If you enjoy very good writing, amazing (and biting) humor, as well as a good dose of sarcasm even if you don't agree with what's being said, check it out:  http://thejohnnybox.blogspot.com/.

I wanted, next, to provide an update on the "Anna Situation."  Cooler heads did prevail.  I had a very emotional reaction to the reports that had been written after the evaluations.  All parents do.  It's particularly NORMAL.  It's incredibly difficult to be told there is something wrong with your child.  Fortunately, I have a friend who looked at the reports for me and pointed me in the right direction.  I was even more fortunate to have several friends willingly offer to do the same.  My biggest problem was that the testing didn't reflect what I knew to be true about my child.  It was good to have someone aside from the me tell me that I wasn't being irrational and that there were some issues.

The testing indicated that there were several issues with Anna, some of which were cognitive in nature.  If there's one thing I know about Anna, it is that she is not limited in her cognitive abilities.  I was very upset and willing to get "ugly" in order to have the psych evaluation reconsidered.  I agree with my friend Laura when she questioned the use of the full scale IQ score when there were so many inconsistencies in the sub tests and in the documented behavior.  Fortunately I was able to get the people at the meeting--every last one of them, dammit--to admit that the testing was not indicative of her ability.  And I think that the IEP that was written reflects her actual needs as opposed to what the psych eval dictated.

The IEP meeting would have been a little daunting had I not prepared myself.  If anyone is reading this who is not familiar with the process, I highly recommend taking the two days you are allotted by law to review the information before you go into the meeting.  Also, if (like me) you find the language used in the reports to be baffling, find someone who doesn't and have him/her explain it to you.  Seriously a learning process!

In the end, Anna will be starting pre-school right after February vacation.  She'll be going 4 days a week for 2 1/2 hours a day.  She'll receive services for speech, fine motor skills and gross motor skills.  The gross motor skills lady said that she was in the normal range and didn't really need services, but she is willing to provide some services because some of Anna's fine motor issues stem from muscle tone (Who knew?  I didn't.)  Everyone is going to keep an eye on the sensory issues, but only a tiny bit of that was evident during the testing.

The next hurdle?  The child has inherited the family ADHD.  No lie. 

Jack is having a little struggle of his own.  He takes Tae Kwon Do (which is another Laura connection...) and has been doing so for over a year.  At first, it was a little rough because he had some big distractions in the form of another kid in the class.  He, however, worked through that and has become the most focused kid in the class.  It might sound like I'm bragging, but I'm honestly not.  He's amazing.  His skills are OK.  He's better than many of the kids in the class, but his focus is just incredible.  The master has told me several times that he can't believe that Jack is only five.  He has the maturity of a much older kid.

So what's the struggle?  Student of the Month.  About three months ago, the place decided to celebrate one student from each class per month.  The child gets a special certificate and gets to wear a special red, white, and blue belt rather than the belt he/she would normally wear.  Jack wants it so bad he can taste it.  For the past three months, he's watched kids get to be Student of the Month and he's wondered why not him?  I've wondered that, too, to be honest.  The first kid is a nice enough kid, but obviously lacks the focus (and the skill) that Jack has.  The second kid is a complete nut job.  Seriously.  Nice enough--really nice, in fact-- but C R A Z Y.   No where near as focused as Jack and no where near as skilled.  This month it's a little girl who has been doing this for only a couple of months.  She's super cute, but again, she's no Jack.  I seriously wonder what the criteria are for Student of the Month.  Do they pick a name out of a freakin' hat?  Do they throw darts at a board?  Is it based on attendance?  Granted, we've missed some time because of illness and my schedule, but not much (if any) more than anyone else in that class.  So what's the deal? 

It's something I can live with.  I don't understand why it isn't him.  It would be nice if he got it, but honestly, I'm so proud of him I could burst.  It doesn't matter if he's got a special red, white, and blue belt or not.  But he wants it.  He really doesn't understand why it's not him.  It almost makes me cry when he asks on the way home from class on Student of the Month day why it's not him.  I tell him that I'm so proud of him no matter what happens.  I don't need a belt to tell me how wonderful he is.  Fortunately this still works with him, and hopefully it will work for a while yet.

Enjoy the weekend, all!

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