On the Verge

Drama.  That's me.  This annoys my husband to no end, I'm sure, but for the past 30 hours I have been on the verge of tears. 

I picked up Julianna's evaluations yesterday.  I wanted them the two days early that I am allowed by law because I really wanted to read them over before I went into the IEP meeting.  I think my asking for them threw the BPS sped department into a little tizzy.  They made it increasingly difficult for me to get the papers.  Not difficult enough to constitute a call to the state, but sufficiently difficult that I had to rush out of work to get them.  Many parents do not want to read the reports before the meeting, and I can understand why (over 15 years in the classroom and I find it a lot like reading Greek).  I just wanted to get my hands on the evaluations so that I could at least be familiar with what they said when I sit in the meeting on Tuesday.

I was telling my friend Laura, who is a sped teacher in my building, that they were giving me a little bit of a hard time.  I told her that it was annoying because I just wanted to know enough to be in control.  I was (am) sure that the people who have tested my daughter want what's best for her--what's in her best interest is in their best interest, too--but I've sat in on IEP meetings where the parents were so overwhelmed that they were railroaded into agreeing to one thing when something else would have been better.  I've also sat in on IEP meetings where the parents were defensive and distraught, allowing emotions to rule rather than common sense.  I wanted to remain in control.  I wanted to be in a position where I could facilitate in the decision making process.  Laura said that she really liked when parents got the reports early and could read them so that that could get all the crying out of the way.

I hadn't thought about that, but she is right (she usually is).  I read the reports and I cried.  Some of the results I knew would be upsetting, but they were more upsetting than I thought they would be.  There's a lot going on with my little girl.  All of the reports said that she was really easily distracted and that she focused only on the things that she really liked and that may have been one of the reasons why the testing came out the way it did.  But she was "pleasant" most of the time.  One of the evaluators did write about her temper tantrum about having to leave the first time we were there.  I'm devastated.  

I freaked.  I texted Laura and she freaked with me.  There were some things in the report she wanted to read because what I read to her was not how she and our school psychologist would do things.  She told me to bring the report in on Monday and she'll look at it.  Laura will help me figure it out.  And she'll have tissues for me.

Right now, John is off at some indoor car race in Providence, I think.  I know he's at a race.  I think it's in Providence.  Jack and Anna are having "a sleep over" in Jack's bed.  We had to do it last night because yesterday when Anna was in her room calming down from a temper tantrum, she sprayed half a bottle of Lysol in her bed and on the floor (I had left it in there a couple of weeks ago and completely forgot it).  There's little chance of any germs ever developing there again, but she couldn't sleep there until the place aired out.  So she slept in Jack's bed last night.  It was such a hit, they both wanted to do it again.  As I was typing this, that failed miserably and Anna was evicted from Jack's bed.  Everyone is in his and her own bed.

Jack got his second report card this week. He did very well.  John and I are very proud of him and his hard work.  We took him out to IHOP to celebrate last night.  John said he wanted to take him out for dinner so I asked Jack where he wanted to go.  His response was this, "The Chinese Buffet All You Can Eat."  It was firm answer.  Definitive.  Then he said, "Wait.  No.  I've changed my mind.  I wanna go to IHOP to get a funny face pancake."  So that's exactly what we did.  We went to IHOP.  The kids got the funny face pancakes.  Jack was absolutely thrilled.

The report cards are insane.  It's all about standards.  It's a two page deal with several standards listed on both sides.  Several standards are rated on a scale of 1 - 4.  I don't know what 1 means, but 4 is "exceeds expectations" and 3 means "has met the standard."  Two means "working towards standard."  Jack has one 4, a whole mess of 3's and some 2's.  Not bad for a little boy who didn't go to pre-school.  Several standards are rated with - (weakness), v (satisfactory), and + (strength).  Jack has a ton of +'s.  He's got one v and that is in gym.  The apple does not fall far from the tree.

He's now doing basketball on Saturdays.  He loves it.  It makes him happy.  I don't know what he's going to do in March when it's over.  We'll have to find him something else.

It's time for me to curl up in my bed with a good book.